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  • Regina Stafford

​Mismatched Libidos Part 2

I’d like to thank those of you who gave such wonderful feedback on my previous blog on Mismatched Libidos. Your comments and input made a part 2 necessary.  As I mentioned in my first blog on this topic, Sex can be a difficult subject to talk about. Starting a conversation about it takes courage, trust and vulnerability. The first talk is actually the hardest, but you will both learn how to navigate it once it’s opened up. A great opener is admitting how uncomfortable you feel and then gently forge ahead anyway. It will absolutely be worth it. It has been my experience that just by the fact that you are willing to discuss something that is sensitive and challenging, it affirms your love for each other and for your sex life. (If the truth were told, one or both of you would like to know that sex is important to the other person too). In contrast, many people just avoid it and it lends itself to anger, resentment and rejection, which after a few years can really hurt your relationship. So dive in! I was happy to hear from women on the physical aspect regarding their desire for sex. One woman shared that her sexual desire for her husband, whom she adored, had all but left her. She thought there was something wrong with her and didn’t feel the confidence to approach her husband about it. She went to an Herbalist who treated her reproductive cycle and her hormones, with some “tinctures and a female tonic”, she felt alive again toward her husband. Her exact words, “It was life changing”. I also had a Neuropathic Doctor, Fayzah Doudak, who has a practice in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn, tell me that she has seen many women helped by taking certain supplemental nutrients. Great news for us ladies! Lastly, sometimes it just comes down to a matter of personal desires. Meaning that if a woman is perfectly satisfied with having sex once a week and does not see that as an issue, but her husband does, what do you do?  It takes a conversation about compromise. Do you remember how in previous generations, mothers would tell their daughters to do their “wifely duties”? Well, this is definitely not about that, so fear not, we are not going backwards! I believe there are things in a marriage that can be helped greatly, by looking for the win-win situation. What could be a compromise that you are both willing to make that is acceptable to each of you? After all, you love each other and want one another to be happy, don’t you? Then why wouldn’t you do whatever you could to bring that about?  So, if a wife desires sex once a week and the husband desires it three, then both compromise and agree at making room for it to happen twice a week. The foremost important thing that has to happen is the conversation, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel, you can’t begin to move forward without it.  #sex #sextalks #marriage #inittowinit #desires #compromise #winwin #marriagebuilders #rewardscoaching #lifecoach

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