When your dating with the hope of getting married, it’s important to make the most of your date. This is a time to lead with your head and not with your heart. Granted, it’s the “feel” or spark (your heart) that draws you toward someone, but then your head needs to step up and take the lead.
Your future is not a romance novel or a “Lifetime Movie”, where the woman follows her heart towards the man who gives her explosive sexual encounters, passionate and heated exchanges, or where she is the only person who can help calm, comfort, and protect this bad boy from himself. Indeed it can be an exciting whirlwind of a ride (for now) and there is never a dull moment with him, plus you feel truly special since you’re the only one who can “handle him”.
“Love is blind” only when you let your heart lead. It will explain away any rational conversations you can have with yourself and others, and it will ignore every red flag that is waved in front of you. I have seen and heard first hand of this “blindness”. There are many instances in life where the saying “follow your heart” is a freeing and wonderful way of being but not when it comes to finding a mate.
If we remember that marriage is about finding a person with whom you can build a life together, work as a team, then why would we ever choose a person who was narcissistic, immature, and who actually needed a mother instead of a wife. You wouldn’t! The scary thing is some women do so because they shut off their brain since it “feels” so good. If it feels good, it can’t be wrong, can it? (I think that’s how the song goes.) These sayings we use to guide our lives have holes in them when it comes to reality versus fantasy. This is how strong, powerful, smart women can lose their way when it comes to relationships.
Ladies, you are too wonderful and too important to waste your future babysitting or worse yet, being with someone you have to carry (since he can’t even carry his own weight). You have a long wonderful life ahead of you to explore, to grow, to experience, to share, to enjoy, and “to rock the hell out of”. This is not a time to get all soft and emotional, leaving your better judgment at the door. This is a time to ask questions about who he is and where he’s going. What his goals are, how he spends his money, and to watch his relationships with his family and friends. Does he love and respect them? When things go wrong, does he take responsibility for himself instead of blaming others? This may sound strong or harsh but if you fail to do this at the onset, then you risk getting more emotionally involved with each additional date.
Marriage is about teamwork and it’s only for the mature. You have to learn how to live, to work, to raise children, to handle finances and to build a life together. That can only be done with someone who is ready, willing and able to be a part of a team. #marraigebuilders #rewardscoaching#Lookbeforeyouleap #datingtips.
Today’s post is from my book “Look Before You Leap” A Simple Guide To A Healthy Dating Relationship. By Regina Stafford
Available at Xulonpress.com and Amazon.com
I post my blogs bi-weekly, with a focus on strengthening and encouraging the amazing women and wives that you all are. Please comment and feel free to contact me for a specific topic you'd like me to address or expound on. Like and share too. Don't forget to enter your email below to subscribe for news and speaking events!